I was never Popular.
Not at school. Not at home. Friendship wasnt important to me in my childhood. I only had one friend, my sister Rose. Rose and I were the best of friends. We helped each-other through everything. When she died, i had nothing. No one. Life was hard after Rose was gone, my parents argued even more than ever, i didnt ever think things could be the same.
My parents were always comparing me to rose, how they must have regretted all the times when they relented her, when they wished she was never born. The gossip around the village about how Rose Freak had died was the undoubtably the reason of my unpopularity. 'Freak' being her second name, how anybody could have called Rose a freak, i dont know, exept my parents of course. I remember every day coming home from school was the same.
Rose would be pushed into the living room, ordered to tell dad how she was doing at school, then
threatened with horrors I dont dare think about.
.Every day, she would be shunted up to her room, in the barn, and stay there until she apologized for ruining the family's reputation. She never would though, (apologize) she would tell me that she would rather starve to death in her room, or even attend a boarding school, than keep up the family reputation.
She had already been banished to a boarding school for ten months, they were the loneliest months of my life, she had come back scarred and shivering, she wouldn't talk about what had happened there, but i'm guessing it was something bad.
''Why Though??' She would cry whenever i came to comfort her, ''Why is it always MY fault.'' I didnt listen to her, i became oblivious to her threats and cusses. I just wanted to stop My Parents arguing.
'It'll be okay Rose,'' I Would smile, playing with her shoes, ''Mummy and Daddy will stop fighting right?''
''Tell you what, lets go play outside, Masiy!! It'll be fun!!
''Oh, Rose, why do you ALWAYS break the rules, we aren't allowed! Anyway, you'll get your new shoes all wet!'' Rose didnt care though, she would drag me outside, into the afternoon sunshine and we would play for hours and hours.
The farm house was a great place to play, Rose would laugh. That seemed the only time she ever laughed, when she was with me.
I couldnt laugh for a long time when i found out she had died. She always was a rebel. But i never thought she would kill herself. She died of alcohol posioning. It must have been terrifying knowing that her life was going to end.
She was quiet and sullen the night she died. It was like she planned it all out. She probably did. Dad forbidened mentioning her name in the house. She was a discrace. Apparently, she was being bullied. It cant have been that bad though? Bad enough to end her life? I wouldnt know. The drinking had been going on for a while. Rose had alwasy told me that she was popular. Fashionable. How could I think not? She was always surrounded with giggling students. I thought they were her friends. How could I have known that they were really her foes?
It must have been horrible, knowing she was going to die, but drinking anyway. Drinking and drinking until.... Blackness. Her body wouldnt have been able to metabolize the amount of alcohol being forced into it.
Why didnt she tell me? Didnt she trust me? I could have made it all better, or could I? It was only after Rose died that I realised how Ignorant. Unobservant. Nonchalant I had been.
I blamed my parents, who else could have afforded a wine cellar but the biggest alcoholics in the whole city. I think Rose planned it out that way. To make them feel guilty of their actions. But what about me?! Didnt she care?!
what worries me is the thought that she didn't intend too. Couldnt It have just been a teenager's stifled cry for help. Maybe she thougth someone would find her, trapped within her own thoughts in that damp dark cellar, find her and help her. Surely not me, a young innocent goody-too-shoes who couldnt even be home alone?! No. Again, I blame the parents, the non-caring, biggoted, self-absorbed creatures that produced two freaks. Its these type of people who just cannot, and will not accept the consequences of their actions.
A. Matt apparently became suspicious
B. I got a promotion (From all the juicy stories)
C.Teth got demoted, because of giving me the Juicy stories..
So, all in all, us having remained friends through ALL this, means that we are doing pretty well. Teth seems to have become more and more fragile though, he is always popping round because his parents are fighting or whatever.
Who was ringing round at THIS hour, (11 o'clock PM) I'll tell you who,
''Teth!!!! Im coming!!!'' I yelled over the doorbell ringing again.
''Don't call me Maz!!'' I shouted back.
''What brings you here in the middle of the night?''
''Stay as long as you want Teth.'' I said to him.
''Because i may need to stay for.. Quite a while..''
To read Chapter Two - The truth hits, hard, click here!